Coca-Cola: Shake Up Christmas

Christmas may be over, but that doesn't mean that we can't look at another Christmas-themed ad.

Today's selection is Shake Up Christmas by Coca-Cola:

We start off with a pleasant little scene.  People are enjoying a nice dinner while listening to piano music played by a guy who kind of looks like Screech from Saved by the Bell.  I'm kind of disappointed that they didn't get Dustin Diamond to actually play the part.  I'm sure he could have used the work.

We then cut to an office building where a man is obviously working late based on his forlorn look as he checks the time.  Finally, we see a man hanging decorations on the side of a building. 

All of this seems normal enough.  But then, the various characters hear an odd soda fizz sound and look to the sky.  The camera pans out and we learn the truth: The entire city and its populace are trapped inside one of Santa's snow globes.

Santa apparently has several collections of snow globes, and I can only assume that each one contains a similar community of miniature people.

Just what is going on here?  Did Santa somehow create these mini-people with his magical powers?  Are these normal people that he shrank down and imprisoned?  Is the snow globe some sort of portal into another dimension?

Whatever the explanation, one thing is clear: These people and their city are now subject to the whims of their lord and master Santa Claus!

On this particular night, Santa decides to have some fun with his minions.  He tilts the globe, and chaos ensues. 

Due to the tilting, the people begin to slide all over the place.  I'm impressed by the sturdy construction of Snow Globe City.  You'd think that the buildings' structural integrity would be tested by all the shifting, but everything seems to be holding up just fine.

Strangely enough, the people of the city don't seem to be especially disturbed by any of this.  I'm guessing this isn't the first time that Santa has decided to shake up their world, so maybe they have adopted a "it's going to happen, so let's just go with it" attitude.

Apparently, this is Santa's attempt at making his minions happy.  But did he consider the consequences of these people skipping out on their jobs?

The patrons of the restaurant are no longer going to have mood music while they dine.  That building isn't going to be decorated for the holiday.  Whatever it was that the office guy was working on, well that surely isn't going to get finished.

The office worker eventually slides into what looks to be a school concert.  When the boy on stage - most likely his son - spots him, the man has the nerve to give his son a wink and a "Of course I'm here!" look.

Who are you kidding, pal?  If not for the Santa intervention, there's no way you would have been there.  And look at the expression on the kid's face.  He may be happy, but he's not fooled.  If anything, I'd say he's surprised that his deadbeat father actually managed to show up to something.

Meanwhile, the building decorator has swung over to a neighboring building where a comely lass was conveniently standing on her balcony.  She doesn't seem frightened or bothered by this in the least.  Instead, she shares her Coke with him, and from the looks of things, they'll probably be doing it later on.

Finally, the pianist slides into a house where he is greeted warmly.  He soon leaves his piano behind and joins the family for dinner. 

It isn't clear if this is actually his family, or some random family whose house he just happened to crash into.  It's probably a fairly common occurrence in Snow Globe City for strangers to randomly slide into your house, so maybe they've just gotten in the habit of welcoming all visitors.

At the end, Santa looks pretty darn pleased with himself.  He brought happiness into the lives of three of his miniature subjects, despite what kind of damage might have been done to the rest of the people and the city itself.

Perhaps this is the reason those women in the Best Buy ads were so mad at Santa.  Perhaps they knew the truth about him.  Behind his jolly, gift-giving exterior, there is a cruel tyrant who has thousands of helpless, miniature prisoners at his mercy.

Parents teach their children to behave so that Santa will put them on the "nice" list and bring them gifts.  But maybe they should just warn them that if they're naughty, they'll end up imprisoned in Santa's snow globe.
Rating: 2 TVs - I guess as far as nights in Snow Globe City go, this was a good one.  But I'd be worried to see what happens when Santa is in a bad mood.

Best Buy - Game On, Santa

Since today is Christmas Eve, it is only fitting that I take a look at some ads featuring Santa Claus. 

I used to think that Santa Claus was a revered figure.  I thought he was beloved by everybody.  But Best Buy's Game On, Santa ads have made me reconsider.

A woman goes to Best Buy and finds that they have a lot of good items on sale for under $100.

I wish I knew which Best Buy store she was at.  Any time I go to Best Buy in December, the place is mobbed.  It is nearly impossible to find a sales person, and even if you can, they certainly don't have time to make small talk.

Regardless, the message being sent is clear: Holiday shopping can be expensive, so Best Buy has affordable gifts that make shopping cheap and easy.  I'm well on board with that idea.

But then, the commercial takes a dark turn when the saleswoman jokingly tells the woman that "Santa better watch out." 

She doesn't know the half of it.

Apparently, this woman wasn't excited because she was going to be getting good gifts at a good price.  She was excited because she would get to stick it to Santa.

When Santa comes by her house to fill the stockings, he is disappointed to discover that they have already been filled.  Santa has no place to put his gifts!

But it isn't enough for this woman to just beat Santa at his own game.  He needs to know that he's been beaten!  She makes a point to stay up late just so she can see the crestfallen look on his face.

And then she tops it off with a final insult by telling him to give the gifts to the dog.

Seriously, lady?

Of all the people in the world, why would you want to mess with Santa Claus?

I thought that maybe this was an isolated incident of Santa hatred.  But apparently, there are other Santa-haters out there:

What the hell?

This woman not only bought her family numerous gifts in order to spite Santa, but she also went to the trouble of waiting up on the roof just to antagonize him.

Yes, this woman hates Santa so much that she waited up on her roof all night on Christmas Eve just to antagonize him. 

Santa, the jolly soul that he is, tries to laugh the whole incident off.  'Tis the season for forgiveness, after all.

But this woman is having none of it.  She doesn't want his forgiveness, she wants his very soul!  She gives Santa another giant "f*** you" when she kicks his statue off the roof.

What did Santa do to these women to inspire such hatred?

Are they annoyed that Santa's gifts make them feel unappreciated?  Are they tired of hearing how great Santa is, while Mom's efforts are largely overlooked?

Or does the root of their hatred stretch back to their childhood?

Did they not get that dollhouse they wanted when they were younger?  Did they witness their mother kissing Santa Claus one year and they blame him for the ensuing breakup of their parents?  Are they Communists fearful that his gift giving ways will keep others from supporting their cause?

Whatever the reason, the Grinch and Scrooge had better watch out.  There are some new Christmas villains in town.
Rating: 1 TV - I am deeply disturbed by the amount of hatred these women have for Santa.  Christmas is supposed to be a time for sharing and loving, not a time for settling petty grievances.

But most of all, I would really love to know where that empty Best Buy is.

Lexus - December to Remember: Music Box

It's December, so that means we get the annual December to Remember commercials from Lexus.  You are probably familiar with these.  Someone receives a Lexus as a present, and we're supposed to be moved at what an incredibly touching moment it is.

In this particular entry, a man gives his wife a music box.  This seems like a nice enough present, but based on the anticipation on the children's faces, there's obviously more to this gift. 

She begins to play the music, and a look of recognition comes over her face.  Why that's the Lexus jingle!

Really?  She hears that song from a music box, and instantly recognizes it as the Lexus jingle?  It's not like the tune is especially memorable.  You could probably play it to me for 48 straight hours and I wouldn't be able to identify it.

Maybe she's got an amazing memory, or is some sort of commerical jingle enthusaist.  Whatever the case, she recognizes the jingle and surmises that her real gift is going to be waiting for her in the driveway.

Who are these people?  Just how rich do you have to be that upon hearing a car commercial jingle you automatically assume that you're getting a new car as a gift?  Maybe the husband just thought it was a nice sounding tune.  Wouldn't she be in for a shock when she raced outside to find an empty driveway?

As it turns out, Mrs. Moneybags was correct, and there is a new Lexus waiting for her in the driveway.  And because a new car wouldn't be the same without one, there's a giant bow on top. 

The giant bow is actually the most impressive part of the gift.  I tried to find one of those one year, and didn't have any luck.  Anyone making a decent living could head over to the Lexus dealership and get a car.  But to find a giant bow?  That takes real power and influence.

Here's a question: Why isn't there any snow on the car?  It's clearly snowing at a decent rate, and yet the car doesn't seem to have a flake on it.  Are we to believe that Lexuses come with some sort of snow repellant power?  If so, then they should have made that the focal point of the commercial.

I know I would pay a premium if my car could repel snow.  It would have saved me a couple hours of shovelling these past few winters.

Is it just me, or are the kids just a little too happy that Mom is getting a Lexus?  I mean, I guess it's nice that their mother is happy, but what are they getting out of it? 

Considering that this family is obviously loaded, the kids are probably happy that their mother upgraded from whatever vehicle she had been driving them around in.

"Mummy, can you drop me off at the corner?  I do not want to be seen riding in an Acura!  It's SO embrassing!"

What a bunch of spoiled brats.
Rating: 2 TVs - Between the woman recognizing the Lexus jingle and the snow-proof car, this commercial requires just a little too much suspension of disbelief for my tastes.  And those spoiled kids are a real turn-off.