In Acura's Season of Reason commercial, a caroller hires Bette Midler to join his family's efforts:
The man seems shocked when Midler doesn't stick to the script.
But really, what did he expect? He hired Bette Midler! Did he expect she was just going to be a member of the chorus? Isn't that kind of a waste of her talents? If you hire Bette Midler to help out with your carolling, don't you do so with the expectation that she is going to be the star attraction?
Also, didn't he take a look at her outfit before they started? This clearly isn't a woman who wants to simply be part of the crowd.
I'm not sure why the man at the door seems so put off by Midler's carolling. He's got Bette Midler singing at his door and yet he looks disappointed? Was he really looking forward to a bunch of locals belting out an off key version of Silent Night? I'd say this is a major upgrade.
Maybe this explains why Midler was hired in the first place. People in this town evidently have insanely high standards for their Christmas carolling. It seems that if you want to impress people, you've got to pay for professional help. And even that is no guarantee of success. Rating - 2 TVs - I'd say hiring Midler to spice up the carolling was a wise move. But he clearly went in with the wrong expectations. If he wanted a background singer, I'm sure he could have found one. Instead, he hired a star, so he should have expected a star-type performance.
In the latest commercial from Dodge, they demonstrate how Ram trucks can literally move heaven and earth:
We see a Ram truck driving towards a city when - Uh oh! There seems to be an earthquake up ahead. This doesn't appear to be a minor earthquake either. This looks like a "The Big One" level quake in which a large section of the ground has completely collapsed.
I think I see what they're going for here. They want to show how well the Ram handles in even the harshest conditions. The case shown here might be a little extreme, but the point is made.
But wait! This is no random earthquake. The Ram truck is actually creating this earthquake! Somehow, the truck is causing the ground to collapse in order to shorten the distance between it and its destination.
I will admit that I was not aware that Ram trucks were capable of such things. If they truly are, I don't think Dodge has thought this all the way through.
Sure, it might technically shorten distances, but the effect on the surrounding landscape would likely be catastrophic. That city is probably going to be completely ruined by the time the truck arrives. Is it really worth it to arrive a few minutes earlier if the city is going to be destroyed when they get there?
Not to mention, is this really the type of power we want just anybody to possess? The ability to create earthquakes or destroy mountains seems like it should be in the hands of the military. It certainly doesn't seem like a feature that Johnny Truckbuyer should be able to purchase for just $22,000.
Just think what might happen if you cut off someone driving a Ram? If they're in a pissy enough mood, they could collapse the road underneath your car just out of spite. Can you imagine the type of chaos that would cause?
Rating - 1 TV - This commercial worries me. I hope that somebody at Dodge reconsiders the earthquake causing feature, or else we might have a real disaster on our hands.
In Comcast/Xfinity's latest commercial, they try to warn people about the dangers of being a "Dish Head."
First of all, f*** Comcast. I really can't say that enough.
The point of this commercial is supposed to be that having a satellite dish can hinder your love life.
Is that really the case? If the man had subscribed to cable, the television would have likely stayed on, and the two of them would have spent a quiet night just watching television. But since he had the dish, the weather caused the signal to go out, which prompted the woman to suggest getting down to business.
We're supposed to sense her disgust that he doesn't have Xfinity, but it certainly doesn't seem to cool her down much. She almost seems to be turned on by the fact that he doesn't have Xfinity as she tries to jump his bones just seconds later.
To sum it up: Satellite TV = Poor service = Nookie. If I didn't know better, I might think this was a commercial for satellite.
If he's having trouble with the ladies, I don't think the real problem is that he has satellite TV. I think the real problem is the fact that HE IS WEARING A GIANT SATELLITE DISH AROUND HIS NECK!
Why is he wearing it? Are they implying that customers who have satellite TV are forced to wear satellite dishes around their heads? Because I know that is blatantly false!
Regardless of the reason for the dish, I'd think the guy would be used to it by now, and might have come up with a solution for when he wanted to kiss someone. Rating - 1 TV - Not only is Xfinity lying about the true satellite TV experience, (customers do NOT actually have to wear satellite dishes around their necks) they're also pretty much promoting their competitors by showing that poor reception makes women horny.
Now that we're in the midst of football season, we've gotten a new batch of football related commercials. Here is one that struck a nerve with me from Buffalo Wild Wings:
I can appreciate this commercial from both perspectives.
Before I had kids, I was once invited over to someones house to watch an Eagles game. More accurately, my wife was invited over, and decided that she would accept on our behalf. When I learned that there would be children present, I decided to stay home and let her go without me.
When I'm watching football, here's what I like to do: Watch football, shout stuff at the screen (in the case of recent Eagles teams, this stuff usually involves profanity), and make witty comments that show everyone present that I am both funny and knowledgeable about the game of football.
Here's what happens when you watch football with a baby or small child in the room. The attention of others becomes focused on that child. If the child is crying, then we've all got to be super concerned with the child's cries. If the child is doing something cute? Then everyone has to look and watch even though it might be 4th and goal in the 4th quarter of a close game.
Now that I'm a parent, I sometimes get stuck at home watching the game with my child present. I often miss watching with friends and/or football fans, and I'm occasionally tempted to invite them over to watch with me.
But I know that would be selfish. I don't want to force my child upon their football watching. I don't want to force someone to be quiet during an important game. Even worse, I don't want my child to be woken up from her nap prematurely.
Sometimes, you just can't help yourself. There was one play in particular in which I didn't care that my daughter was napping, and she might wake up. I just had to scream loudly:
In the situation in this commercial, some of the blame has to go to the guests. You knew they had four small children! How did you think it was going to go?
But really, the majority of the blame goes to the couple with the children. When you had four kids, you basically gave up your right to invite people over to watch football. Don't drag others into your little hellish existence. Suffer in solitude.
Rating - 4 TVs - I applaud the accuracy of the commercial. Despite the lousy service at my local Buffalo Wild Wings, anything would have to be better than watching the game among four small children.
Old Navy has brought in some star power for their latest ads: The cast of Beverly Hills 90210!
The 90210 gang is working as school teachers, and they - along with the rest of the school - is very enamored of the new girl in class, and the fabulous Old Navy clothes that she's wearing.
There's only one small problem: The new girl isn't actually new. As one of her classmates points out, she's been going to the school since kindergarten.
What exactly is going on here? Why does nobody seem to recognize this girl? I shop at Old Navy from time to time, but I've never had people completely forget who I am just because I buy a new outfit.
I think the key to this mystery lies with the one girl who seems to be able to see through the illusion. I theorize that this entire school is some sort of "Truman Show" like setup, and the "she's not new" girl is the unknowing star.
Haven't we seen television shows replace a cast member with a new star before? Maybe this is the opposite of that, and they're taking an existing character and trying to portray her as someone new.
It's kind of like on Lost when they tried to make Paulo and Nikki part of the regular cast. Well, we didn't buy it then, and the "she's not new" girl isn't buying it now.
Want more evidence? Take a closer look at the school itself.
This is not your typical elementary school. There are slides in the stairwells, automated chalkboards, and chairs that retract at the flip of a switch. When you throw in the bizarre super-tuba that the girl is playing, this school looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. Unless this is supposed to be Whoville Elementary, I'd have to say that this school is a fake.
Perhaps the most conclusive piece of evidence is the teaching staff itself. They hired actors for teachers! Why else would Jason Priestly and Gabrielle Carteris be working as teachers in a school if it wasn't all part of some elaborate television show?
I will say that I got a kick out of the kid who checks out the "new girl" with a "Who's that?" He may not know who she is, but he certainly wants to find out more.
Play on, playa!
Rating - 3.5 TVs - I'm intrigued by this whole situation. How long has this girl been living in this fake world and going to this fake school? More importantly, how much are they paying the 90210 stars? These are questions that I want answered.
This normally might have only merited three stars, but the "Who's that?" kid bumped it up another half star.
Here is another guest post by Sweaty as he takes on Fiat's American ad campaign:
Fiat is an Italian vehicle
manufacturer that bought Chrysler in 2009. Perhaps they thought that buying the old,
but failing car giant would jump-start an American invasion, and soon they'd have pint-sized cars driving all over the place.
I personally think the cars are too small for me to drive. It seems like most of America agrees with me since I haven't seen many of them out on the road.
But the Fiat ad machine is determined to put a rolling cubicle into the garage of the American consumer. And so they presented us with three commericals.
The first commercial came out a while ago, I believe right after Jennifer Lopez bought the Dolphins with then husband Marc Anthony. I guess she needed some more capital to finish the sale, because when Fiat came calling, she was their first “celebrity.” Maybe the star power would have worked, oh I don't know, a decade ago, when Jenny was still shaking her money maker on the block.
I don’t know if
they were trying to play on some sort of everyman theme here, (Kids running after the
car? Isn’t that a little Rocky-esque?) but whatever they were thinking, I don’t
think it worked.
So
the braintrust went back to the drawing board and came up with this ad for the Super Bowl:
Every company who buys an ad slot for the Super
Bowl knows they have to bring their "A" game, since these ads are expected to be great, and will be heavily scrutinized. (Not to mention the fact that these companies spend millions on them) So Fiat
decided to go the "beer ad" route, utilizing two standard techniques to attract those
18-35 men: humor and sex appeal.
To push their Italian car model, they used...an Italian model. Every red-blooded man has likely been in this position, caught checking out a hot woman while she’s bending down.
Whether it’s a view from the front or the back, we can’t help it. It’s in our
TNA DNA.
Except, after she slaps him, she starts seducitively teasing him
while talking a foreign language he doesn’t know (or really care about). This
culminates when he goes in for a smooch. And he sees that the woman is actually a car.
If this
happened to me, I would never want to see that car again. It would be a
constant reminder of the fact that I didn’t score with a hot Italian model, and
almost kissed a car. I’d have model withdrawal flashbacks. I’d probably take
bath salts to ease the pain, and be arrested by police for trying to bite some
dude’s head off.
Despite the first two ads not quite working, Fiat still wanted one more shot.
It looks like they
want to push the Abarth. So far Americans are not buying it, perhaps because its name
sounds like slang for puking. So how does Fiat try to solve this problem? They decided to use "star"
power.
So here we have “America’s bad boy” Charlie Sheen, driving
around his mansion, with a bunch of women fawning over the fact he hasn’t hit
any one yet. He gets out, says some stuff about being on good behavior,
and HOLY S*** THERE’S THAT HOT ITALIAN MODEL AGAIN! Get out of the screen,
Charlie, you’re blocking the shot.
Again, maybe this would have worked well a few years ago, but these days, most people view Charlie Sheen as the punchline
of the joke, not the deliverer of it. He’s no longer on Two and a Half Men, his
speaking tour was a failure, and to be honest, Sheen just looks old.
So once again, Fiat struck out.
If I were them, I might try
to gear my ads to expatriates, who are used to small cramped cars from their
days in their homelands. I think that trying to make a small car sexy and appeal to
Americans is a bit of a fool’s errand. In five years, you’ll probably be able to get an Abarth at any ZipCar
pick up.
And hey, while you're there, you might even be able to pick up Charlie Sheen too. He'll probably need the work.
One of the more popular commercials from the Super Bowl was this offering from Doritos:
We're supposed to believe that Doritos taste so good that by using them as a bribe, the dog is able to buy the man's silence.
But I don't think that the Doritos are what's keeping the man from snitching on the dog. I think the man remains silent because he is deathly afraid of the dog.
His fear is probably well founded, as this is obviously not an ordinary dog. Not only is the dog quite large, but he seems to be able to move with great speed and stealth. Look at the way he seems to appear directly in front of the man. You wouldn't expect a dog of that size to be able to sneak up on the man like that.
And perhaps most importantly, the dog is able to write notes in English. This is far beyond the capabilities of most canines.
So we have a super-intelligent, super-fast dog with no qualms about murder. Yeah, I'd say the man has good reason to be scared of the dog. If I were him, I'd probably keep my mouth shut too.
Rating: 2.5 TVs - Doritos seems to be saying that they're the preferred snack chip of intelligent, murderous dogs and the people they threaten. But the commercial doesn't give any indication if the rest of us will enjoy them too.
The next commercial from the Super Bowl to be reviewed is Happy Grad from Chevrolet:
At first, this appears to be just a big misunderstanding.
But upon closer inspection, I think that it was only natural for the grad to get the wrong impression. I believe that the parents, and possibly the neighbor, have conspired to intentionally deceive their son.
Look at the evidence:
If I'm blindfolded before receiving a gift, my expectations are raised. I would expect to see an expensive gift like a new car. Is a mini-fridge really a blindfold worthy gift?
Why did they give him the mini-fridge in the yard? They could have easily brought it into the house.
Why did the neighbor park his car in front of their house? He didn't have a driveway, or there weren't any spots in front of his house? Based on the neighbor's reaction, it seems possible that he was not actually in on it. That might have been the most convenient spot for him to park, and he was just an innocent pawn in the parents' scheme.
Here's the most obvious tell: When the mother brings him outside, she could have brought him directly in front of the mini-fridge. Instead, she placed him so that the first thing he saw would be the car.
It seems clear that this "mix-up" was in fact a deliberate attempt by the parents to mess with their son's mind. They may look worried as he is celebrating his "gift," but they're probably enjoying every last second of it, as they await the inevitable heartbreak that he is soon to suffer.
And while I'm sure he'll be upset at first, eventually the graduate will come to realize that he's better off with the mini-fridge.
I assume that he'll be heading off to college in the Fall. Having a car on campus, especially as a freshman, can be a real hassle. Parking is usually limited, and he'll probably grow tired of people always asking him for a ride.
On the other hand, that mini fridge will probably prove very useful for his dorm room.
And as for the girlfriend who wants to marry him just because he got a new car? Yeah, that relationship probably isn't going to last a month once he goes away to college.
Rating - 4 TVs - I can only assume that as my daughter grows up, I'll look for every chance to mess with her mind. I just hope that one day, an opportunity this great arises.
The big game has been played, a champion has been crowned, and now there's nothing left to do but analyze the commercials!
The first one I'll take a look at is Matthew's Day Off by Honda.
I'm still peeved about these companies pre-releasing their Super Bowl ads on the internet.
I want to see these ads for the first time while watching the game. When everyone has already seen the best commercials ahead of time, it feels like much of the magic is gone.
But as for the ad itself...
Matthew Broderick's career clearly peaked with Ferris Bueller. The role was simply too iconic.
That's probably why he hasn't really been successful as an adult actor. Because no matter what the movie was, we couldn't help but see Ferris Bueller on the screen. As a result, we were disappointed by him.
Ferris wouldn't have allowed himself to be stalked by a cable guy. Ferris would have done more to stop Godzilla!
That's probably also a big reason why those movies fared poorly at the box office. Well, the fact that they sucked also might have had something to do with it.
When it comes down to it, nobody wants to see Ferris as an adult. We want to think of Ferris Bueller as an eternal teenager. We want to think that he always remained the coolest kid around, living life to its fullest and defying authority.
We certainly don't want to see him as a dumpy middle-aged man driving a CR-V, trying in vain to recapture past glory.
And here's the scariest thing about it. Ferris didn't go on to marry his high school sweetheart Sloan. No, this is what Ferris went on to marry:
Well, there goes my appetite.
Thank you for reminding us of that, Honda! Rating: 1 TV - We should all just pretend that this never happened. Don't watch the commercial. Just go put Ferris Bueller's Day Off into the DVD player and watch that instead.
Before the big game, I decided to do one final Retro ad. This commercial from the 2004 Super Bowl comes from Pepsi and is titled Bears.
There are obviously several major problems with the bears' plan.
First, I think they were extremely fortunate that they raided the cabin of a large, hairy man. If the cabin owner had been skinny, non-bearded, or a woman, they wouldn't have been able to use his ID.
I'm also confused why the bears chose to use subterfuge in order to purchase the Pepsi. They had no qualms about breaking into the cabin and raiding it of food. So what's stopping them from simply bursting into the convenience store and taking some Pepsi?
It is possible that they had scouted the cabin and knew that nobody was home, and they weren't going to encounter any resistance. On the other hand, there would obviously be someone working at the convenience store, and they'd have to deal with them in order to get the Pepsi.
Of course this ignores the fact that they're bears! If the clerk or his wife tried to stop them, they could simply maul them, and take all the food and Pepsi they wanted.
Maybe the bears were worried that mauling a convenience store clerk and his wife might draw unwanted attention from the law. But really, haven't they done enough already to merit some intervention by the authorities anyway?
Breaking and entering, robbery, and identity theft are all serious crimes. Perhaps not as serious as assualt or murder, but they are serious nonetheless. I think that these bears are already deep enough in trouble, that they shouldn't have restrained themselves. In fact, by leaving witnesses, they've probably gotten themselves into more trouble. Rating: 3 TVs - Maybe I'm being too hard on them. While their plan may have some flaws, I guess it is pretty ingenious for bears.
Often times, advertisers take beloved cartoon characters and use them to promote their products. It makes sense. People like the cartoon characters, so they'll have good feelings when thinking about the product.
This Pontiac commercial from the 1998 Super Bowl features the Road Runner and his arch nemesis Wile E. Coyote.
The commercial starts out in a familiar manner: The coyote is trying to catch the Road Runner. To gain an advantage, he utilizes technology from the ACME corporation. But the technology backfires, and the Road Runner gets away.
So far, this is just like the cartoons we all used to know and love.
But the next time around, something has changed! This time, Wile has wisely ordered a Pontiac Wide Track. Thanks to the Pontiac, he is able to stay in pursuit and eventually catch up to his feathered nemesis.
Wait a second...aren't we rooting against the coyote? Aren't we supposed to want the Road Runner to escape?
Why the hell did they give the featured product to the cartoon's antagonist? Is this the message they really wanted to send: It helps the bad guys win?
The commercial thankfully ends before we actually see the coyote catch the Road Runner, but it seems obvious how this is all going to eventually play out: The Road Runner is going to be the coyote's dinner.
I'm surprised that Pontiac didn't follow this up with a commercial where Bugs Bunny gets run over by Elmer Fudd's Grand Prix. Rating: 1 TV - If there was anyone out there who had really been clamoring to see Wile E. Coyote finally win, then this commercial is for you. For the rest of the country, I think it might be a little disturbing.
I've decided to provide you with a slight change of pace. Instead of the usual ad review, today's post will be a guest rant from longtime reader and correspondent Sweaty.
There are two things that really get me heated.
One is
shameless cross promotion.
Just look at the air space during the summer blockbuster
movie season. Ad time is littered with advertisers sixty-nining movie studios in order to hype each others’ products. I can’t wait to see how the
brilliant Madison Avenue types make the new Transformers film somehow relevant to
the next great chicken sandwich at Burger King. (Only available for a limited time!)
To quote the Chewbacca defense: It does not make sense.
The other thing I hate is shameless social media promotion.
Let me elaborate. Some people choose to “like” a product on Facebook because
they genuinely like it, or because they are enticed by coupon codes
or contests. For instance, I "liked" Old Bay's Facebook page because, aside from the
fact that I am from Maryland and have Old Bay coursing through my
veins, I enjoy using the product. They give out recipes, encourage fan feedback,
etc. That is good social promotion.
On the other hand, you have the results of an action
Facebook took a year or so ago. In another evolution of the social media giant,
they took users' preferences, such as favorite television shows, movies,
and sports teams, and made each of them into their own page. The supposed rationale was that this would allow users to connect with other like-minded "likers," which would enhance the
social media experience.
Skeptics would say that the real motivation was so that these pages could be
pimped out to the companies who made these products, thus giving them direct access to a consumer who, by their own admission, liked them.
If you use Facebook at all, you
probably know what I’m talking about. For example, a TV show that you have "liked" will contact you, reminding you
to watch next week’s episode, or offering a sneak preview.
Most of the time, this is
harmless space in the ever moving wall of Facebook. However, some things make you stand up and take notice. Specifically, I was quite turned off by what I saw from the Friday Night Lights fan page.
Friday Night Lights was one of
those NBC shows that had a small, but rabid fan base. Eventually, NBC
relegated the show to TV obscurity/DVR prime time on Friday nights, (Get it? Because it has Friday Night in the title, they showed it on Friday nights! Someone there at 30
Rockefeller Center is patting themselves on the back for that one) and didn’t
do a damn thing to promote it.
Since I had been a rabid fan of the show, I had "liked" the show's fan page on Facebook a few years ago. NBC hadn't done anything with it in a while, and I’m sure
that most people forgot that they even had a fan page. I had certainly forgotten about it. That was until I saw the following post:
Have any big plans following the Super Bowl this Sunday? Now
you do! Catch The Voice Season 2 premiere on NBC: (insert clip of some kid
auditioning before the gal who looked better when she was the dirty teenie
bopper). You can see what I mean on their Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/nbcfnl
Whoa, stop right there! We’ve got a lot of moving parts
there, but right away you can start to see that A + B does not = C-Lo.
I can
see it now: Someone who has a job title that includes “social media” or
“digital engagement” was sitting in a brainstorming session and said, “Hey, you know
how we have to drum up more promo for that show that’s a clear knockoff of
Fox’s American Idol? Those people who watch Friday Night Lights like football!
They’ll be watching the Super Bowl! Maybe there are some more 18-35ers on their
fan page that we can whore The Voice on!”
Therein lies the problem with social media engagement. If you make it too transparent, people will smell the bulls***. Social media
engagement is like guerrilla marketing in the 80’s and 90’s. If you do it well, it is effective. If you do it poorly, you alienate your potential customers.
And social media can be a double-edged sword, because your end user can respond back. Here are some responses from the page's
followers:
“I'm guessing that there isn't much overlap between fans of
Friday Night Lights and The Voice. Please don't do this again.”
“Well, I'm done following [Friday Night Lights] on Facebook
now.”
“Don't be pimping any other shows. You cancelled FNL and I
don't watch NBC at all now because of it. I am not a fan of FNL so I can get
your useless junk-mail/posts or otherwise. It was a show of support for a
fantastic show that some pinhead decided wasn't drawing enough fans. That's it.”
“I am no longer following or ‘a fan’ of [Friday Night
Lights] because you posted this. Shameful cross-promotion.”
And there you have it. This is what happens when you reach
too far on cross promotion.
If there are any “cross promotional geniuses” or
“social marketing gurus” reading this, take heed: A lot of your audience isn’t as stupid as your ads would make them out to be. And when you
bring in the element of social media, be prepared for your knowledgeable users
to lash back.
As I was trying to determine which ad to review next, I asked myself: What company do I most associate with Super Bowl ads?
While there are several companies who have produced good ads over the years, I think that overall, the most memorable commercials have been brought to us by Budweiser.
Every year, when people discuss their favorite Super Bowl commercials, a Bud or Bud Light ad is almost always listed among them.
So I figured that for my next review, I'd pick a Bud commercial. But with such a large catalog to select from, which one should I choose?
I went with this ad from 2006, mostly because it reminded me of a personal experience.
We learn that one of the company's employees - Davis - decided to spend his weekend hiding bottles of Bud Light around the office. He claimed that it was done to give his fellow employees a boost in morale.
Why would hiding Bud Light improve morale? If he really wanted to improve morale, shouldn't he have simply put the Bud Light in the break room? Did he think that the Bud Light would somehow be more satisfying if the people discovered it?
When I'm at a bar, I typically don't want to go on a scavenger hunt in order to get a beer. I prefer to have the bartender simply hand it to me. It tastes just as good, and it requires considerably less effort.
I am also confused why hiding the beer took him "most of the weekend." This seems like a task that would take maybe an hour at the most.
Then again, he works at a company that apparently is fine with their employees openly consuming alcohol during business hours. So maybe expectations are a bit lowered there.
I'd say that this is the type of company I'd like to work for, except I don't think I could handle wearing a suit to work every day.
As we can see, Davis' plan hasn't necessarily raised morale, but it has certainly gone a long way towards the destruction of the office.
At 20 seconds in, another question is raised when a man punches holes in the drywall and pulls out a couple of bottles.
How exactly did Davis hide the beer behind the drywall in the first place? Are we to believe that he planted the beer in the wall and then replaced the drywall over the weekend? That seems like a lot of extra effort. Although that would explain why it took him most of the weekend.
Normally, I'd say that the office workers tearing apart the office in search of Bud Light requires too much suspension of disbelief. But based on personal experience, I could see this scenario actually taking place.
In 2009, Mrs. Cutter and I decided to invite some friends over for an Easter party. We decided to fill plastic Easter eggs with candy, coins, and other fun surprises, and then hide them around our condo, so that people could look for them in an Easter egg hunt.
Unfortunately, quite a few of our guests had been drinking beforehand (Don't ask) and when we began the hunt, chaos ensued.
It might not have been the wholesale destruction we see in this commercial, but rest assured that we almost immediately regretted our decision. People tore through our furniture with abandon in hopes of locating a plastic egg that might contain a quarter or a Jolly Rancher.
So I have no trouble believing that these office workers would tear apart their office building in search of beer. And as they drank the beer, I can imagine the madness only got worse.
I'd say that Davis deserved to get fired for this, but considering the company openly condones drinking beer on company time, can they really hold him accountable?
Rating: 4 TVs - This is a very realistic portrayal of what happens when you tell drunk people to search around a room for prizes.
In the days leading up to this year's big game, I'll be taking a look back at commercials from past Super Bowls.
Since I covered 2011's commercials rather extensively last year, I'll start out by looking at an ad from 2010. This one is from Snickers and stars Betty White:
We start off watching a football game in which one of the players is not having a good game.
Apparently his hunger has caused him to transform into Betty White.
Personally, I'd be pretty excited if one of my teammates transformed into Betty White. She's one funny lady, and I can only imagine that having her at the football game would make it that much more memorable.
But Betty - or "Mike" as they call him - is not being appreciated by his teammates. In fact, they seem to be downright mad at him.
I can understand that Betty White might not be the best player out there, but the others should have recognized this long ago, and dealt with it accordingly.
In most pickup games, talent levels can vary greatly. Some players aren't going to be as good as others, and most people accept this. Once the weaker players are identified, those players typically don't get the ball as much. And if there is an effort to get those weaker players involved, expectations are usually lessened.
In other words, if a guy sucks, and you throw him the ball, you shouldn't get too upset when he doesn't catch it.
So they shouldn't have expected Betty to have caught the ball. And they certainly shouldn't have gotten so upset with him considering how off target the pass appears to be. That would have been an amazing catch had he made it.
It feels like there's something else going on here.
Look at how Betty is laid out by the defender. It seemed as if the defender could have intercepted the ball, but instead chose to deliver a big hit.
I think it is very telling that none of Betty's teammates got upset by what appeared to be a cheap shot. In the NFL, that hit probably would have resulted in a fifteen yard penalty.
You'd expect his teammates to be angry about the hit or at least check to see if he was hurt. But none of them even seem to care. They just yell at him for not catching the ball.
It seems clear that none of the other players like this guy, and it has nothing to do with him turning into Betty White.
I think the real cause for their dislike is sitting in the bleachers.
Mike was probably once a fun guy. He could be counted on to hang out with the guys and have a good time.
Now? He's just a whipped loser who can't go anywhere without bringing his girlfriend along.
You know what most guys enjoy when they're arguing with their friends? When their significant others interject themselves into the argument and feed them candy bars.
Yeah, THAT would have gone over well.
Mike should have been spending the rest of the game listening to taunts from the others. They should have been referring to him as "baby," and asking if he "needed a candy bar from mommy," or if he'd like to have his girlfriend sub in for him.
This probably isn't the first time this has happened, so they don't even bother anymore. Instead, they just try their best to get him to quit.
It's very possible that the QB might intentionally be throwing those balls to him in hopes that he'll get knocked out of the game. And the defense is probably hitting him with impunity, knowing that the guy won't retaliate with his girlfriend present.
Everything is supposedly better after he eats a Snickers. But in my opinion, things have gotten much worse.
I can see some advantages in being Betty White. But after he eats the Snickers, he's still whipped by his girlfriend, his friends still hate him, and now he looks and acts like a douche.
After playing like crap all game, he really has the nerve to shout "I'm open?" Who screams "I'm open!" anyway? What a tool.
The commercial's conclusion raises a very important question as well: Why would you make Abe Vigoda your quarterback?
He's 91 years old! They didn't have anyone else who could play QB?
Rating: 1.5 TVs - This commercial is saying that by eating Snickers, you'll transform from a beloved actress into a whipped douche bag. Is that really the message that Snickers wants to send?
Just be warned that I will not be reviewing any of the Super Bowl ads that been pre-released on the web, most prominently the Volkswagen Star Wars dogs ad.
I am not a fan of this trend where companies release their Super Bowl ads before the game itself. It's kind of like when a person is so excited about a Christmas gift that they bought someone that they give it to them before Christmas.
When I'm watching ads during the Super Bowl, I want to be surprised and entertained by new ads, not by something I've seen already!
But before we get into the Super Bowl ads, I'm going to review a current commercial that will not be shown during the Super Bowl. It is from DirecTV and attempts to show us the perils of having cable instead of DirecTV.
We start off with a man frustrated by being placed on hold by his cable company's customer service.
Now this is something I can relate to! I know just how hellish an experience it can be trying to deal with a cable company's customer service line. You have to navigate through seemingly hundreds of menu choices only to wait about an hour to speak to a living person, who usually ends up being less than helpful.
Trying to work off his frustration, the man engages in physical exercise - in this case, a game of racquetball. This seems like a healthy way to burn off stress, as I too enjoy a spirited game of racquetball from time to time.
Here's where the problem comes in: The man is both unskilled and unprepared to actually play racquetball.
At almost every racquetball club, there are signs that warn players to use proper eye protection. As an experienced player, I can tell you that the ball moves very quickly, and the threat of eye trauma is very real. By playing without any sort of eye protection, he pretty much invites disaster upon himself.
Aside from his lack of goggles, there is another major problem: Both he and his opponent don't seem to actually know how to play the game.
Racquetball is a game of quickness and agility more so than power. Simply standing there and smacking the ball as hard as you can is not generally an effective technique if you want to win the game.
If he had just moved around the court a little and used finesse instead of pure power, he probably could have avoided his eye injury altogether. He must also have extremely poor reflexes, as he was standing decently far back when the ball struck him. You're telling me he couldn't have dodged that ball?
Next, we see the man being treated by a doctor. Apparently the injury was severe enough that it requires him to wear an eye patch. It didn't look like the ball hit him THAT hard, but maybe it just was perfect placement.
I suppose it is possible that he just had LASIK or some other eye surgery, and his eyes are especially sensitive. But if that was the case, then by not wearing goggles, he really deserved to have his eye injured.
Now he has to ride the bus home wearing an eye patch.
He didn't have anyone who could give him a ride? What happened to his racquetball opponent? You'd think the guy might have at least given him a ride home.
Unfortunately, also riding on this bus is a gang of hoodlums. Based on the look of these guys, I think that it doesn't take much to set them off. They might have used the eye patch as their motivation to go after him, but I have the feeling they were just looking for an excuse to attack someone.
What kind of neighborhood does this guy live in anyway? When they show him running, it looks kind of barren. Maybe instead of spending his money on cable or DirecTV, he should look into moving to a nice neighborhood where he isn't in danger of getting attacked by gangs on the bus.
Finally, he ends up in a roadside ditch. Did the guys who beat him up dump him in the ditch? That seems like a lot of extra effort on their part. They probably would have just left him bleeding on the street.
In the end, he might like to blame the cable company for all of his problems. But by choosing to live in such a bad neighborhood, and by eschewing proper eye protection, it seems that going with cable was just one of several bad decisions he has made. Rating: 3 TVs - While I fully sympathize with being frustrated by a cable company, I feel this guy has brought most of this misery upon himself.
Rating - 2 TVs - I'd say hiring Midler to spice up the carolling was a wise move. But he clearly went in with the wrong expectations. If he wanted a background singer, I'm sure he could have found one. Instead, he hired a star, so he should have expected a star-type performance.
Rating - 4 TVs - I can only assume that as my daughter grows up, I'll look for every chance to mess with her mind. I just hope that one day, an opportunity this great arises.
