Super Bowl Retro Week: EDS- Herding Cats

Cutter's Note: Since her first ad review was so good, I decided to have Mini-Blonde (Now knowns as Mandy the Mini-Blonde) come back and join in the amazing fun that is Super Bowl Retro Week!

Today, I will be looking at a commercial that first aired during the 2000 Super Bowl: 

As an owner of two kittens and someone who does business with the federal government, I can relate to both the literal and figurative messages of this commercial. 

                                                                   My Pretty Kitties

Lint rollers! Yarn! Kitty scratches! Sneezes! Trouble wrangling things together! I understand all of those things. But what I don’t understand is what EDS actually does.

Nowadays, I can use my Droid to look up the company without leaving the couch.  In 2000, I would have had to walk over to my desktop, wait for dial up, and then hope I remembered the company name or the AOL keyword because I’m sure EDS wouldn’t come up in the Yahoo search results for “cat herders.”  Then again, maybe it did.

Maybe that’s why we Google things now?  

I have a problem with a business-to-business company advertising on the Super Bowl. The competition for attention during the Super Bowl is so fierce that it’s unlikely that you’ll really resonate with your target audience. 

What if the few people who figuratively needed their e-business cats herded were distracted by their kids playing Pokemon? Or rejoicing over AOL’s acquisition of Time Warner by popping opening a can of Surge? Or trying to figure out how to respond to their friend’s poorly delivered “I see dead people” joke?

Then all you’re left with is a bunch of football lovers and their friends who remember that "cute cat commercial," but not your company.  

                                                            Surge: Gone but not forgotten

I work for a professional services firm, so I understand how hard it is to explain in layman’s terms what your company does. So bravo to EDS for a valiant (and really cute) try.

However, the explanation of EDS in this commercial is so vague, I could use the same commercial for my firm, and I’m not sure if they even provide the same services as my firm (I looked it up. They do not).   

                                                                           

Despite their flagrant misuse of ad dollars, EDS actually survived the dot-com bubble burst and went on to be acquired by Hewlett-Packard. I’m sure many people were laid off, and the person who decided to buy space for this commercial during the Super Bowl was probably among them.

But this commercial is really, really cute. If cat herder was a real job, I would be the first in line when an opening became available.

I wonder where they are herding the cats to? My guesses:

• To the Netherlands to serve as mice deterrents for the world’s largest piece of cheese.
• To serve as the front lines to successfully thwart the Great Dog Invasion of 2000.
• To a magical place called Cat Mountain where cats always stay kitten-sized and they love to cuddle.

It was most likely none of those things because the last two don’t exist and the first would be really unsanitary. But maybe, just maybe, with EDS’s ability to bring together information, ideas, and technology, we could make Cat Mountain happen.  

Super Bowl Retro Week: Taco Bell - Lions

This Sunday is the Super Bowl.  You know what that means?  That's right, it's Super Bowl Retro Week here at The Ad Pundit!

For the third year in a row, we're going to take a look at some Super Bowl ads from years past.  Why?  Because there's nothing quite as awesome as nostalgia.

The first retro ad aired during the 2007 Super Bowl, and I will admit that it was a personal favorite of mine:

We start off normally enough with a couple of lions talking about the campers and their Taco Bell steak grilled tacquitos.

Wait, did I say we started off normally enough?  I must have somehow overlooked the fact that HOLY CRAP, THERE ARE TALKING LIONS!

Okay, maybe I should calm down a bit.  Maybe this is just a case where the lions are actually speaking some sort of lion language, (Do lions have their own language?) and it's being translated for our benefit. 

I kind of understand why they would do that.  In all honesty, a commercial featuring a couple of lions growling at each other probably wouldn't be too interesting, and it probably wouldn't do much to push Taco Bell's product.

But if that's the case, why does the lion mention Ricardo Montalban?  How would the lions even know who Ricardo Montalban is?

Even if the lions had somehow been able to watch television, there is no way they should have known who Ricardo Montalban is...unless the lions can understand English.

Which brings me back to...HOLY CRAP THERE ARE TALKING LIONS!


Rating - 3.5 TVs - I like this commercial.  But I'll be honest with you: I'd really like to know more about how the lions are able to speak and understand English.

I decided to add an extra star to the rating for the excellent voice over work done by the esteemed Mr. Montalban.  That man was a class act all the way.

R.I.P. Mr. Roarke

Google Play - New Years Resolutions

In an effort to provide the readers of this site with more diverse content, I decided to let someone else take a shot at reviewing a commercial.

Today's guest reviewer is the always witty Mini-Blonde.  She'll be taking a look at Google Play's latest commercial titled "New Years Resolutions." 

"A new year, a new you." 

That's so cliché. It’s like Google is giving you a bad pick up line: “You’re trying to get in shape, I’m trying to get in shape, we’re like the same person. Let’s totally do it!”

And it’s kind of annoying that Google would make the assumption that based on the new year, I’m trying to get in shape. But they’re right! I totally am! Looks like Google is getting laid.

But what about the fatsos who don’t care about working out? Well, they’re in luck! One of the reason Google commercials are so fun is because they're like 20 mini-commercials in one 60-second spot.

Actually, let’s count how many products are advertised in this cute little spot:

1. Google search
2. Google play
3. Google recommendations
4. Rancid’s Let’s Go album
5. Rocky soundtrack
6. Kesha’s Warrior album
7. Google +
8. Google Play web player (I had no idea this existed. So good job, advertisement. Way to do your job)
9. Olivia Newton John’s Physical
10. Salt n’ Pepa’s Push It (Side note - I am awesome at this song in Karaoke!)
11. Chariots of Fire
12. Run Fatboy Run (Ironically, this is at the top of my Netflix queue this moment)
13. Food, Inc
14. Burn After Reading
15. Workout Trainer app
16. Diet & Food Tracker app
17. Runtastic Pro app
18. Calorie Counter app
19. Eating Well Diet by Jean Harvey-Bering
20. Everyday Food: Light by Martha Stewart
21. Martha Stewart’s Cookies by Martha Stewart
22. Big, Soft Chewy Cookies by Jill Van Clever
23. Cookie Bake app
24. Simply Sensational Cookies by Nancy Baggett
25. Milk & Cookies by Jill Van Cleave
26. Cookie Dozer app
27. Taste of Home Cookies
28. The Cookie Party Cookbook by Robin Olson
29. Eat Cookies app
30. Sesame Street
31. Laptop
32. Tablet
33. Smartphone

Of course you can’t really call it an ad since most of the names were either cut off or on the screen for less than a second.  And the last three aren’t even specific products, although you can still make them out well enough to download them.

In fact, I downloaded Cookie Dozer because it had a really good star rating and it was free. It’s not
that great though, so don’t download it unless you like boring games.

Meh

From the list of products above, you’ve probably already guessed who the mystery Googler is. My first hint should have been when he typed, “new me start today.”

I was thinking,“Well that’s weird,” but then I quickly thought about what most people post as their statuses on social networks.  "New me start today," is more comprehensible than like 80% of social network posts.

My second hint should have been the book selection, but I just thought that it was just another
poor, awkward-writing, fat man that really liked cookies.

My last hint should have been the fact that it’s not the actual Rocky theme that plays but rather a cover of the theme by Sesame Street. (Or maybe it’s just Cookie Monster singing along to the real theme) 

But no, I had to wait for Google to tell me it was the Cookie Monster, which was the surprise cherry on top of my Google sundae. So cute!

Surprise?

This probably makes me a bad person, but I also liked how the Cookie Monster slipped in his resolution. (Monsters - They’re just like us!) 

Aside from the obvious argument that he wouldn’t be the Cookie Monster without cookies, everyone secretly likes coaxing people out of their half-hearted attempts to change themselves at the turn of the year.

And secretly, most people like having excuses to give up their resolutions. After all, I did skip the gym so I could write this.

Buick - Landing

Today I'll be looking at a commercial for the 2013 Buick Enclave.

We see that the Enclave can be controlled remotely via smart phone.  This allows the car to be nice and warm by the time the family enters.  We're supposed to think that the Enclave is a technological marvel that makes life more convenient for its owners.

The only message that I'm getting is that the Enclave is a car for rich a-holes.

My resentment of the family begins when I realize that the entire family is flying first class.  That's right, even the kids.

"You expect my children to sit in coach with the rest of the commoners?  I think not!  It will be first class for all of us!"

Maybe I'm being too harsh.  Maybe the family saved up for years for this trip, and they all wanted to fly first class because it was such a special occasion.  (Although if they can afford an Enclave, they probably haven't tightened the belts too much.)  Or maybe the father just wanted to give his children a special treat.

Full disclosure: For my 21st birthday, my parents flew the family out to Las Vegas, and I got to sit in first class.

I was about to cut the father some slack when I noticed something:  He starts controlling the Enclave while the plane is in the process of landing.

You know how they tell you to turn off your electronic devices while the plane is landing?  Apparently, Johnny First Class either didn't hear that announcement or willfully ignored it.

"What?  Wait until the plane lands?  But if I do that, then my car will have less time to get warm.  And then my family might be slightly cold once they get into the car.  We certainly can't have that!

"Besides, I'm a first class passenger!  Surely those 'rules' they talked about don't apply to me.  They only apply to the unwashed masses in the back of the plane."

It's not like he's doing anything that might interfere with the plane's systems.  He's only remotely controlling another vehicle!  I don't see how that could possibly cause any problems.

"But at least my family stayed warm."

Rating - 1.5 TVs - I'm sure that it is rather convenient to able to remotely start the car.  But I think it is wrong of Buick to glorify rich, inconsiderate @$$holes who value the comfort of their family over public safety and etiquette.  I think the FAA might need to have a long talk with Buick.