The Ad Pundit: Miller Lite

In this post, I'll examine a series of related commercials: Miller Lite's Man Up ads.

The basic premise of these spots is that real men care about their beer, so they'll pick a high quality beer like Miller Lite. Those who don't care about their beer quality are obviously horrible people, and this is fully demonstrated in other ways.

In the first example, we see a guy who has applied bronzer to himself in an effort to look tan:

I think most of us can agree that using bronzer is indeed a douchey thing to do, and the people who do it deserve some ridicule. I just don't think that the guy in the commercial is a good example of your typical bronzer user.

I'm thinking that the type of people who use bronzer would make sure that their entire body is covered. There's no way that they would be left with faux tan lines like this guy.

Nothing else about this guy indicates that he is the type to wear bronzer. A guy who wears bronzer probably wouldn't wear just a plain polo shirt. Maybe he'd wear a Lacoste shirt, but he'd make special effort to make sure that the logo was visible.

Really, I picture the typical bronzer user wearing Ed Hardy or something along those lines. At the very least, the guy would have popped the collar.

Not to mention the guy's hairstyle. It looks like he has put no effort whatsoever into styling his hair. Where's the pound of gel?

So I guess this guy isn't really supposed to be a douchebag, but more like a clueless idiot. And I suppose that the point still gets across: Only morons like this wouldn't care what kind of light beer they drink.

In the next commercial, we see the type of douchey outfit that I would have expected from the guy in the first commercial:

This guy has gone the full mile with his outfit. His jeans and shirt coordinate, and he even has a matching jacket.

OK, I truly believe that some people actually dress like this. Where the commercial loses me is when the guy gets shaken up so easily.

Guys who dress like this wouldn't be offended when a bartender made fun of his outfit. He would just assume that the bartender was "into him," and her comments were just a way of flirting.

I can't imagine that this is the first time he's gone out in public dressed like this. He's probably heard the comments before. So why does he seem so bothered to the point that he denies that being his jacket? In real life, this guy wouldn't worry about what people were saying about him. He'd just call them all haters.

And in real life, this guy would probably be surrounded by a pack of similarly dressed guys. Remember, douchebags tend to travel in packs.

In the final commercial, I think Miller Lite unfortunately loses track of the message they're trying to get across.

In the other Man Up commercials, the guys they show may be exaggerations, but they are scenarios that could potentially happen in real life. Guys do go out wearing bronzer. Guys do go out wearing dragon clothing. And in some of their other commercials, we see guys in skinny jeans and thong bathing suits. Also situations which do (unfortunately) sometimes happen.

In this commercial, the guy is wearing a skirt. It's not like he's wearing baggy pants that look like a skirt. He isn't wearing a kilt or something that might be mistaken for a skirt. No, he is just wearing a skirt.

Why would he be wearing a skirt to a bar? And why doesn't he seem to think that there's anything wrong with it?

Is he a cross dresser? If so, he has clearly half assed his effort. Merely wearing a skirt doesn't make someone a cross dresser. It just makes them kind of weird.

Maybe he's just wearing the skirt to gain attention. There are lots of people who wear funky outfits just to get noticed. But if that was his motivation, why does he look so offended when the bartender calls him out on it? Shouldn't he be happy that she noticed?

Also, at the end of the commercial, doesn't it seem like his friends stare an awkwardly long time at his open fly? Maybe they don't want to say anything to him about it because he's insane. But wouldn't they be more likely to just avert their gaze instead of staring directly at his crotch?

I think this guy has some serious issues, and they go way beyond not caring how his light beer tastes.

After watching all of the commercials, I am left with a few questions:

1. Isn't Miller Lite in danger of alienating the douchebag population, and won't that severely cut into their business?

Have you been to a bar lately? There are douchebags everywhere! And now that we've got a generation of young men who think that the guys on Jersey Shore are good role models, the problem is only going to get worse.

If these guys become offended by these ads and won't buy Miller Lite out of protest, I think the company could be in serious trouble.

2. Where exactly does Miller Lite find these bars that have hot, friendly women bartenders?

You might say: These girls aren't that friendly. They make fun of their customers. But they only do that after the guys have clearly shown that they don't have taste and are worthy of scorn.

First off, you rarely see hot women working the bar during a daytime shift, and if you do, they're probably in a pissy mood.

In real life, most hot female bartenders usually won't even look you in the eye unless you're dropping some serious money. They almost definitely won't give you the time of day if you're only ordering one light beer. And they certainly won't spend the time to ask if you care about how the beer tastes.

3. Is the bar's poor beer selection the real problem?

They seem to only carry two types of beer: Miller Lite and the generic "Light Beer." Maybe the reason these guys don't care about how their beer tastes is because they only have two choices, and they're both kind of lousy.

I mean, Miller Lite is OK, but is it so much better than any other light beer that I would care enough to specifically order it?

Upon further review, the guys don't specifically ask for the generic beer. They just say that it doesn't matter. Maybe they're trying to make the bartenders' job easier? Or maybe they figure it will lead to further conversation.

But that doesn't happen. Apparently, unless you specifically say that you care how the beer tastes or ask for a Miller Lite, these girls are going to give you the generic choice and then mock you.

So I take back what I said earlier. These girls are bitches.