Charmin Ultra - Bears

Now that we're past the Super Bowl, I'll take a request from a reader, and analyze Charmin Ultra's Bears commercial.

Right from the start, this commercial is a bit ridiculous.  The bear is trying to examine his butt to see if he has pieces of toilet paper stuck to himself.

I'm wondering exactly how the TP got on his butt in the first place.  If he can't reach back there to remove the leftover pieces, how was he able to wipe himself?

By the way, does anyone else find it strange that the TP roll is on a tree in a clearing?  I was always under the impression that bears did their business in the woods.

Anyway, the problem of having TP pieces left behind is apparently a recurring one in the bear family.  It's gotten to the point where the mother actually has to inspect her son's butt to make sure that it is clean.

If she knew that this was a problem, why did she wait until now to give him the Charmin Ultra?  She obviously had the package with her, so why did she hold off?  Was this his last chance to prove he could successfully use normal TP before she had to upgrade to the Ultra?

We briefly put those concerns aside as we cut to see the real world testing of the Charmin Ultra.  I do appreciate the fact that they put the testing statistics at the top of the screen.  I would be very concerned if I didn't know exactlty how much water was being used for this test.

Apparently, Charmin is very thorough in their testing process.  They've precisely measured out exactly how much time and water is necessary for a proper test.  Not only that, but we can clearly see that the test is performed using a three pound weight.  Did they think that by only using a one pound weight, they would leave most Americans unconvinced of the strength?

I've never really thought about how much pressure I use when wiping myself.  Has Charmin somehow determined that the average American uses three pounds of pressure when cleaning themselves?  How would they go about measuring this anyway?

We check back in with the bears, and find a much happier scene.  Both mother and son are thrilled to see that after using Charmin, not only are there no paper flakes on the son's butt, but his fur also somehow shines.  How exactly did this happen? 

Honestly, I'm not sure I want to use toilet paper that will leave my butt shiny afterwards.

Apparently, this is not a problem for the son.  He seems to really like the Charmin Ultra.  He likes it to the point that he rubs it against his face afterwards.

I can't say I've ever enjoyed a toilet paper to the point where I'd want to rub it against my face, no matter how soft it is.  Maybe it's just a bear thing.

That makes more sense the more I watch the commercial.  After further viewings, I have come to the conclusion that this product is actually being marketed for bears.

Is having bits of toilet paper left behind that much of a problem for most humans?  Maybe it is an issue for those people who have hairier posteriors, but to the point where special toilet paper is required?  I don't think so.  I think most of us would be just fine with the regular brand.

Bears, on the other hand, probably do get toilet paper stuck in their fur quite a bit.  So maybe this product would be very useful for them.

Rating: 2.5 TVs - While I appreciate the detailed information given about the trials, I think the commercial misses the mark a bit.  The target audience appears to be bears, but I'm not sure how many bears actually use toilet paper.